Picture of Savannah November 2018
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Welcome to Conversation With Katherine and my podcast: Drama
Drama is emotional theater. Drama creates muddy waters where your individual clarity becomes lost. However, drama can still be exciting and addictive. In my life, I have had several adventures with drama. When I was a teenager, I would try to mimic movies. I once saw a movie where the woman reached for a leaf off a tree and looked into his eyes. At that time of my life, I had a serious (or so I thought) crush on a young man.
One day as I was going to class, I realized that he was walking behind me. So I thought. It worked in the movies. So, I reached for this leaf and (this is true) the branch fell on the ground. I dropped my books, mortified. He looked at me and laughed and I never had a conversation with this young man in my life. So much for the movies.
Drama has a way of making things exciting and at that moment we think that it is very meaningful. Be careful not to confuse real emotions with dramatic emotions. the loudness of the emotion or the theater of emotion does not make it more valid. It just makes things loud.
Oftentimes drama comes because we don't name things for what they really mean. Would my encounter with that young man have been different if, instead of mimicking the movies, I had just said hi? there wouldn't have been any falling tree limbs. But I might have just gotten a hi back. I probably would have more of a real connection than my dramatic connection.
Sometimes we are scared and instead of just sayin "I'm scared," we scream, yell and threaten. Drama can create serious problems because you may have started out with a simple problem, and by the time you add the drama, you may have multiple problems. You may have to apologize for the things that you have said or done. Walking back from drama is never fun. Drama can add grief to your life, not just excitement. So before you decide to have a theatrical emotional presentation remember my falling tree branch, and may just try a quiet hi.
What was I thinking: What am I thinking now 2019
At the time that I wrote this post I had not been introduced to the idea of "narratives". The stories that we tell ourselves and how those stories influence our decisions. I was thinking about my muse and how all of dramatic declarations of like, love, lust were just moments that created excitement but those moments were not grounded in reality.
When I thought of the young girl that saw the branch fall I was not able to discern the difference between what went on in a movie, which is staged life, and what happens in "real life". It took many years for me to understand that drama was making my life more difficult. The excitement was an illusion of what could have been more meaningful.
By the time I was observing my muse I had gotten the gift of understanding the difference between real and pretend.
My current thoughts take me to how narratives can impact our lives in such profound ways. The narrative of my muse meant that there was always a Stage 1 and the intimacy that can happen in Stage 2 was short lived. I think of how drama is a distraction from having intimacy, sincere conversation, authentic relationships. When I observed people caught up in the drama of their lives, it sometimes seems, they are not seeing how the storm that looks and feels real is a storm of their own making.
The excitement that comes with drama has an intensity that can be confused as the "real value" of the relationship. That if there is not intensity then the relationship must not be of value or even worse it is just boring. Drama can create an illusion of the real versus the pretend. The narrative of excitement is often portrayed in the media of bringing a sense of urgency to the encounter. The sense of urgency can limit us from seeing is this a real problem that needs to be resolved or is it just our narrative of muddy waters.
I know that my young self in, her spring season ,often did not understand the difference. When a person chooses drama as a lifestyle there are many soft moments in life that will be missed. Those soft moments can take a person to a place of peace that has a different value than excitement.
So what do you think about drama? Is chasing drama your life's journey? Do you long for a different path? How do you stop drama? The benefits of a peaceful relationship and a peaceful life is one of the wisdom lessons that I learned when I transcended my own drama.
Those are my current thoughts and Thank your for listening to the pod cast. Conversation With Katherine. Please visit my website http://converstionwithkatherine.com if you would like to leave a comment about today's podcast. Thank you for listening have a great day and a good conversations about drama.