Picture San Antonio March 2019
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Welcome to Conversation with Katherine and my podcast Diamonds
I find that people are like gems. Some rough, some polished. If you are walking down the street and you see a shinning gem do you pick it up? Do you pick it up and then decide that it is not big enough, shiny enough, not valuable enough and then toss it away. Then another person walks by and picks up that same gem and decides it is the perfect gem for them.
A diamond does not lose its value because you throw it away. It just doesn't have value for you. In your spring and summer seasons of life many times you wrestle with the "Why". "Why didn't they love me, like me, want me, care about me". You look in the mirror and think that if you change your hair, your clothes, your weight, your style that you will become "good enough" for that other person. Most of the time it does not work. Everyone does not value Everyone. It is sad, but true that you can make yourself over and it still won't work.
When you look in the mirror what do you see? Are you judging yourself by someone else's lens? Do you wonder will you ever find the "right" person? All of these questions will get answered in time. My suggestion to you is to understand your value because value always remains. You just need to find the person that values your diamond.
What Was I thinking Then
I had observed many individuals both in my work as a social worker and in my personal life who allowed their critical internal voice to diminish their own sense of personal value. It is hard when your narrative of that critical voice does not allow you to perceive you're worth. It is hard when you have never even thought that you have worth or value. They may have a family narrative, cultural narrative that says that bragging is not acceptable behavior.
I am not talking about bragging. I am talking about recognizing that value exists in our humanity. If you have difficulty in recognizing your own value how can you see the value in others. I have been told that a person might see someone's value but never see their own. When I was working as a social worker if a client did not see their value or the value of the work that they needed to do a mountain appeared in their lives. Now this was a self created mountain but it still had to be climb if they wanted to achieve a successful outcome.
To some, their value was an invisible idea or concept. The thought never entered their mind that they could have value. Convincing someone who doesn't think they have value that they have is an uphill journey. Their own personal disbelief in the idea of value becomes the biggest hurdle they have in their lives. Watching the idea of the possibility of value come into their life would give me hope of a positive outcome.
What Do I think 2019
I see the idea of value as more important now than it was then. I think human value has been diminished by the divide of better than- less than. The inability of us as humans to have a global acknowledgement of other humans is creating a global system of fear and oppression. What I have noticed is that if the belief within yourself of your own self worth exists there can be a tolerance and acceptance for that same value to exist in another human.
I am not talking about the sense of entitlement that some consider value. Now that I am thinking, maybe I should describe what I mean when I am using the word value. I have a belief that each of us whether big or small brings something into the world. There is value in our lives because we live and that life can contribute to our collective lives. Humans may have solitary moments, however, in general we are not solitary. We are a collective that requires the interaction with others in order to thrive and survive. Not acknowledging our human interdependence by looking at only what separates us means you are not looking at what unites us.
The narrative model of this country is an individual narrative not a collective narrative. It is a narrative that says we can pull ourselves up by our own individual bootstraps and achieve. In my life, I have never seen anyone achieve success alone. I have never seen anyone achieve failure alone. Think about this if success or failure can not be achieved alone without each other then how do we achieve anything in the form of global plan without all of us humans. When I look at the homeless encampments in most major cities what I know is that the people there have organized a community with rules and guidelines. It is not some form of chaotic environment. Looking at that from the outside you could say that those individuals have failed. Looking at it another way I would say they have created a community collective that allows them to survive in difficult circumstances.
My witnessing their struggle changes me. I don't see the struggle of someone without saying to my self as their "witness" "may they be given the grace to survive and transcend their struggle" . So value is not just about the individual it is about our collective presence on this planet. Valuing yourself starts as a way to reach out to others.
Thank you for listening to Conversation with Katherine, Please feel free to visit my website. conversationwithkatherine.com and leave a message about this podcast. Have a great day and great conversations in your life about. Diamonds