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Welcome to Conversation with Katherine Podcast Meat and Potatoes
A meat and potatoes person brings gravitas to the relationship. You usually don't have trauma or drama. They say what they mean, keep their commitments, they are reliable. The downside is that because there is no drama and trauma they can be somewhat boring.
You have to be in a certain season of your life to have genuine appreciation for this type of individual. It could be all of the fast pace, fast living that we see in the media where all problems are solved in thirty minutes or less and love happens in under an hour with commercials. That may be why appreciation of this individual is so rare.
There is a t.v. program called Man vs Food that both appalls and fascinates me. For those of you that haven't seen this on cable it is a man who appears to be in his summer season, who consumes a HUGE amount of food. I mean HUGE. In watching this action, the fascination is why isn't this man getting sick. Or maybe he is getting sick but he is just getting sick off camera.
Well my musings say , the emotional life of many people is like this man's life with food. Their are people that allow an enormous amount of misery and garbage in their lives. Those that are observing them may be appalled by the why aren't they getting sick. They allow themselves to be dumped on and emotionally and physically battered by the nastiness of others. Well this won't happen with a "real" meat and potatoes person. You will have a person who will be your rock or port in the storm. Not your battering ram.
So look in your life and you may want to give up the ice cream sundae for someone more sustaining. Or maybe you may just have to wait until the season comes when you appreciate the stable vs exciting.
Orignal Post January 13, 2010
What was I thinking then: What do I think now-2019
When this post was originally written I had been witnessing a lot of drama in the lives of my friends. I also witnessed the drama and sometimes trauma in the lives of my social work clients. When observing others I also reflect on my own choices in life. I had moved away from the Ice Cream Sundae person. Part of my evolution was having less interest the the intensity of a relationship and more interest in a peaceful comfortable relationship.
In the observing of others, I noticed that not everyone was interested in the intense. Those individuals that were interested in the intensity of the relationship rather than the substance were often in various stages of conflict. They would continually ask themselves the magic question "Why". Why doesn't the person like, love, care about me? What is wrong with me? What is wrong with them? Am I too thin, fat, small, tall or any other physical description that fits the question. The interesting thing is their "why" was rarely answered. It just sent them running down the rabbit hole.
The individuals that were interested in a peaceful, comfortable relationship did not have the intensity but they weren't being sent down various dead end paths. These individuals appeared to be more certain about themselves and the person that was in their lives. The insecurity that comes with the Ice Cream Sundae relationship did not exist in their lives.
What do I think now-2019
I am grateful that I finally left the world of intensity in relationship. Perspective gave me a different path and it lead me to pick a different type of individual to have in my life. I don't regret my past choices because I accept that my learning curve was necessary to say "no" to one type and "yes" to another type.
I have often reflected that in my life and in the lives of others that I have observed we are often stuck in our choice of partner. The new person may look different but their character or behavior still remains the same. Different outside same inside. I have pondered how did I consistently pick the same person over and over. I finally figured out that if I wanted a different type of person in my life, I needed to change. The narratives that I told myself influenced the person that I found attractive. I was able to recognize the energy of the person. As my energy changed to a more peaceful place the loudness and intensity style of romance became less attractive.
So there lies the question. Do you have to change for the people to change in your life? Do you like intensity and think that means the relationship has value? What would a comfortable and peaceful relationship look like in your life? Bottom line question is it You or Them?
Thank you for listening to Conversation with Katherine. Please stop by my website conversationwithkatherine.com and leave a comment about this podcast. Have a great day and a great conversation in your life about. Meat and Potatoes