Welcome to Conversation with Katherine and my podcast Seduction of Intensity
I recently had a discussion with someone about how intensity can be as addictive as any drug. Intensity can become the familiar emotional barometer of the quality of life. Just think about what happens if you have a relationship with intensity. When there is a calm period in your life and things are going smoothly your relationship with intensity whispers in your ear. There is something wrong. Where is the excitement, drama, problems of living that are familiar. Your relationship with intensity can tell you that when it is present you are ALIVE. The value and desirability of your life is dependent upon how you manage the familiar siren voice of intensity.
I am using the language of seduction in part, because intensity seduces. It seduces one into believing in the value of chaos as the solution for meaning. It seduces one into thinking that without intensity you are only partially living. It seduces one"s thinking and influences the narratives of where are the best possible options. When intensity is an integrated part of a personal relationship you start believing that if there is not intensity then something is missing. A person can start looking for an exit strategy because it means that the relationship is over if the familiar seducer is not present.
Let's just muse about the idea of how does the seduction start us on the path and then become part of our emotional and behavioral narratives. Biological intensity can take us to a crisis zone. There is cortisol waiting for us to rev us up and create a narrative of the sky is falling and we need to move because we are in danger. There is something that is created when we emotional and psychologically live in a crisis zone. Our familiar place is being under some type of threat or crisis.
Idea? Can you get so use to living in a crisis zone you confuse normal functioning as being a problem. You confuse life being fluid has not real unless you are managing a tsunami. There can become a direct correlation between living in a tsunami and using intensity as a guide post as to how effective is your problem solving. You feel successful when you control and manage the tsunami, managing chaos is part of what you value. Instead of looking at effective ways to manage stress you look for creative ways to manage the lack of intensity. How does this look in life? You are seating around the house and you suddenly notice things have been peaceful for awhile. Your mind does not enjoy this peaceful moment instead it says what is wrong? You start looking for what is wrong and voila you find it and the argument ensues over your new treasure of what is wrong? You tell yourself you are not starting an argument you are just problem solving. Hmmmm maybe you are maybe you miss the energy fix of intensity.
Our humans bodies can adapt to the need for a cortisol or adrenaline fix. Just like in addiction your body can start missing the dopamine, serotonin jolt that can come for your relationship with a drug. I once had someone describe their addiction to alcohol like a warm cocoon that brought the person comfort. Intensity can bring excitement, it can create a reality of aliveness that peace, does not bring. There can be a confusion that real living is only supported by the "feeling" of the rush intensity brings into our lives. What if I told you feelings are not always accurate? What if I told you that if you create a false narrative it will guide you to options that have been created by the false narrative? What does that mean? It means that your intensity is guiding you to solutions that create a looping of intensity and your problem solving creates a cycle of moving from one crisis to another crisis. Your solution will eventually exhaust you and over time your body will pay the price for your living in a crisis zone. Your solutions may create more problems than you resolve because your initial drive is founded on a false narrative. How dare I say that intensity is a false narrative? It is not false in terms of your relationship with intensity it is false in terms of meaning. Intensity does not mean that you are alive. Peace does not mean you are dead. It is a state of adaptation that has been created by lots of other influences in our human narratives.
What do I mean. Look at the media, whether it is movies, television, social media intensity is present. We are inundated with the narrative that we should experience intensity. We are given the narrative that if it is missing in our lives then we are not living a full life. If we are having a peaceful moment the void has to be filled with something exciting. The idea of a peaceful moment is not for those that are living it is for those that are boring people. Somewhere the idea of peace has been replaced as a definition for boring.
Like any good seduction we are given an attractive idea/narrative that has an emotional, social acceptance that creates the mindset that chaos is valuable. Living in the world of crisis is living in the world of chaos. Question: when a person has a peaceful environment does the silence make you nervous. Do you start looking around and wondering why is it so quiet?. Do you bring noise to the situation because the silence is too deafining? If you are wondering? You have been seduced. Welcome to the seduction of intensity.
Thank you for listening to Conversation with Katherine and my podcast Seduction of Intensity. Have a great day and a great conversation in your life about the Seduction of Intensity.