To Those That Have Lost Their Child

 

To the parents:  I know that this is one of the most difficult  moment in your lives.  You may be searching your heart  and wondering why you have not been seen.   Can’t they see your intentions?  Don’t they know that you would never hurt your child?  Why don’t they go down the street and talk to that family that doesn’t feed their children?  Why are they in my life, in my business,?   Can’t they see the pain and shame that I feel?    Don’t they know that I am angry because I am afraid?

There are workers that will see you and will honor  your humanity.  There are workers that won’t see you and they will only see the anger.   Your anger will frighten them and it will blind them to your intentions and your humanity.  It is difficult to put aside your feelings because your child is important to you.  It is difficult to have someone come into your home and not be kind.  It is difficult to go to Court and listen to how you are desccribe and how your heart is not seen.   It is difficult to listen to words that you do not understand.   You are on a difficult path.  There are two roads on this path.  The path to healing and the path to more pain.  The path to healing means that inspite of your intentions you may have caused a negative impact with your child. 

Some of you will know what you have done that has created this path for you.  Others may rail at the “system” and refuse to do the work.  Whether you understand or not my suggestion is to take the path of healing.  Do the work.  It is this path that will help you and your family survive.  Yes, I know that there is injustice in this system.  Yes I know that many times the injustice affects those that are on the marginal fringe., the poor.  I know that poverity does not mean that you don’t love your child.  I know that working to put food on the table and keep your child safe is an everyday battle and sometimes without a clear direction. 

I also know what works and what doesn’t work.  So as hard as it maybe I ask you to set aside your anger to those that cannot see your humanity.   Know that if you do the work, your attorney can have the necessary tools to help you with the law.